[365]

[265]

2009-12-18T23:01:44Z

another early meeting.
went well.

A went to caltech today to meet up with some big-shot professors there and discuss phd possibilities.
on my way back from work i picked her up from downtown, where she went to see the walt disney hall.
came home, made pasta with meat sauce.
yum.
we had yet another conversation.
she doesn't want to let me be.
i guess it's expected, but at the same time i'm going crazy.
more crying.

went to the vi for a bit to drink the pressure away.

[264]

2009-12-18T22:54:53Z

sad.
sad events, sad atmosphere.
breaking up is hard.
not to mention when you're sharing the same roof.

went to work and did a presentation of my projects for a bunch of john smiths.
came home and sat down with A and had a long discussion.
she was sad, she cried, she yelled, she was angry.
all at the same time, not always making complete sense.
i guess it's somewhat understandable.
i explained to her why this is happening.

some of my friends would go to the edison bar, downtown.
one of the most beautiful bars i've ever seen - if not the most beautiful.
we decided to and get our minds off things.

i had half a glass of beer, which apparently doesn't mix well with lack of sleep and xanax.

we left the edison and went to the standard. we lay on a waterbed.
dizzy.
hot.

[263]

2009-12-18T09:53:59Z

freakin tuesday early meetings.
arghhh.
soon after the first meeting i had a second one about a patent.
thankfully i was able to convince them that the idea was worthwhile filing.
yay.

the construction on the roof is very annoying, very noisy.

A was very emotional.
not sure what she was thinking and what made her cry.
probably the fact that she's going to leave soon.
tried to calm her down.

went to work, had more meetings.
had to make car rental arrangements for the trip in montana.
i'm looking forward to that - mostly because i've missed going to major conferences.

worked on installing my new workstation at work and then came home.
we were going to go for dinner at the cheesecake factory, but on the way there we had a bad fight.
i got very upset and felt extremely tired by all this.
came home.
break up.
A was upset.

went to the observatory and stared at the view.
tension and sadness in the air.

had some pizza and drinks at jones.
talked a bit.
i'm sad but i feel i don't have much choice.

[262]

2009-12-18T09:45:40Z

woke up early because the manager of the building decided to install a new roof
and the construction started very early in the morning.

went to work feeling sleepy, but had to catch up with a lot of work.

prepared a packet for lady A and sent it to her.
hope she get it soon.

had dinner at terroni with A and then headed to the observatory. again.
unfortunately, it was closed.
we haven't had very good luck with that place.

went to amoeba for a bit and looked around for posters and records
and then headed to the arclight cinema to watch "9".

interesting.
great cgi.

[261]

2009-12-18T09:41:25Z

time to head back to la. very warm day.
checked out of the hotel and went to the hard rock cafe for brunch.
yummy bbq burger.

took some photos around the city and went to the luxor to get something lady A needed.

got back to la, feeling tired, but i had to do some work.
i needed to update my resume to send it to a guy for a research grant proposal.
A finally decided to buy and ipod touch, so i ordered it for her.
she was happy and excited about it.

finally went to bed. long day.

[260]

2009-12-14T22:17:37Z

long night sleep.
A had bought cup cakes from sprinkles yesterday, which we never got to eat on the way to vegas.
so we woke up and had cup cakes for breakfast!
yum.

walked around the hotels.
took A to the venetian, paris, caesar's...
i was moody and grumpy.
both because i wasn't feeling very well, but also because i was very annoyed by
last night's incident with yet another night of tension - for no obvious reason.
tried to fight back and forget about it.
it took a while, but in the end i kinda managed to put the tension aside for a bit.

the day was extremely hot and that was exhausting.
especially when we were waiting under the sun to watch the bellagio fountain show.

went for dinner at a nice french restaurant at paris.
had steak with blue cheese sauce.
amazing! yum.

went back to the hotel room, feeling exhausted [heat + heavy, fatty food]
got some rest and then when for drinks at the voodoo lounge.
A got sick from the [apparently bad] alcohol
so we left kinda early.
on the way back to the room i played some roulette at bellagio.
lost all my money in seconds.

[259]

2009-12-11T01:23:56Z

switching to a new desktop computer at work.
exciting, huh?
what's more exciting is that today i learned that the paper we wrote with that intern
i was supervising last summer, got accepted at a workshop!
yay!

left work early, went home, picked up A and drove to vegas.
yeap, vegas.
stopped on the way to get food at denny's.

long and pleasant drive.

got there kinda late. i was tired, but looking forward to this vacation.
but A got kinda whiny.
not sure what happened to her.
we went to the hard rock hotel for a drink and she was acting disgusted and annoyed
by the place, the people, almost everything.
i got disappointed and wondered why she acts like that.
plus i really liked the place...

went to nyny for a second drink and then walked around the [empty] bellagio casino.

went back to the hotel room to get some sleep.
too much whining and negative energy to have fun.
so much for the good mood.

[258]

2009-12-10T04:46:41Z

work as usual.
S's roommate invited a few people at their place for dinner tonight.

on my way back from work i took a long detour to go to marie calendar's bakery
and get my favorite "kahlua pie" to bring with me.

went home, met up with A, got ready and went for the diner.
it was just a few people - all Greek.
A looked kinda nervous in the beginning among all these people she didn't know,
but later on she loosened up.
it was fun.
quiet and fun.

[257]

2009-12-10T02:06:59Z

the killers were playing tonight at the hollywood bowl and we had tickets to the show!
got off work early-ish, went home and picked up A.
parked the rabbit at the h&h parking garage and then walked to the hollywood bowl.
A was excited it she was acting cute - like taking a small child to disneyland or something.
wait.
we'll do that too.
lol.

the show was impressive.
i don't like this kind of big shows any more [i prefer small venues],
but at least they gave a good performance with good sound and good visual effects.

after the show we walked back to the car and drove to a late night pizza place
on fairfax, where we got our dose of pepperoni and mushroom.
yum!

[256]

2009-12-10T01:33:36Z

coding at work was very frustrating today.
i got really angry cause things wouldn't work the way they were supposed to. agghhh.

went home, picked up A and headed to the arctic monkeys show.
J got free tix for us!
yay.

the show was so and so.
it wasn't bad, but there were too many teenage girls screaming their lungs out...

after the show we went by in & out cause A wanted a quick drive-through late snack,
and then headed to S's place.
stayed there for a bit and then went home to get some -much needed- sleep.

[255]

2009-12-10T01:30:04Z

the symptoms i've been having for quite a few weeks now
just won't go away, so i finally decided to go see a doctor.
and he said i have an allergy.
yeap.
people, it's official.
and there's not much he can do about it, other than give me a bunch of different
pills and see which one works for me.

got in the office late [because of the doctor visit] and stayed until late.
came home and tried to find something to eat, since today i am fasting [sep 14th..]

A wanted to watch the first episode of the new season of "gossip girl" which was on tonight.
which kinda meant that i had to watch it too.

tired and sneezy and sleepy.

[254]

2009-12-09T21:53:43Z

woke up feeling kinda grumpy.
went to the farmer's market to meet up with D and S.
had a bite and went at S's place.
we had a reservation to go get lunch at the paradise cove beach cafe, but we canceled
cause we got bored and were not really hungry.
instead me, A and S went to "the newsroom" in beverly hills for lunch.
they kinda played the "girls united" game there - which got a bit on my nerves.

after lunch me and A went to get cupcakes near rodeo dr.
A was so excited by all the shops there - she found something to do in the mornings!
got our cupcakes and drove towards pch - going to malibu.

i was heading to zuma beach.
passing in front of the peperdine campus, we saw 10s or 100s of flags,
which were part of some monument or something.
we stopped for pictures.
i was starving for my cupcake.
i wanted to have it, but A wouldn't let me.
tension building up.
we arrived at zuma beach on time for sunset.
it was beautiful.
and cold.

on the way back we decided to go to griffith observatory.
i had been thinking of taking A there for ages.
when we got there we had a really bad argument that evolved to yet another big fight.
that was a bit too much!
A told me that she's considering breaking up and that was not a surprise, somehow.
let early, took her home and went for a walk.
met up with S a bit and talked, before going to bed.

[253]

2009-12-09T19:02:47Z

woke up feeling so-so after last nights argument.
we were supposed to go get brunch at le pain with the turkish crowd.
we were late and i got stressed.
in the car we had yet another argument about this.
this is torture.

went to santa monica after brunch with O and his girl.
the weather was really cloudy and gloomy and depressing.

went to tj's for groceries, went home, cooked dinner and watched tv.
spending saturday night at home. feels weird.

i am tired. and thoughtful. so much fighting.

[252]

2009-12-09T18:57:26Z

came home from work and took A to dinner at this italian restaurant called miceli's.
it was fun, had some good pasta and pizza.
after dinner we went to see "500 days of summer" at the grove.
it wasn't bad.
but on the way back home we had a bad fight.
really bad.

we went to meet up with S and some other people at the roger room.
but we never got in, because our fight got bad enough that there was no point.
went home instead.
wtf.

i'm tired.

[251]

2009-12-09T01:41:56Z

still very sick. maybe i should go see a doctor.
blah day at work, came home and had a big salad for dinner.
enough with the junk food.

we went to S's place for a bit to give my tripod to her roommate.
stayed there for a bit and then hopped in the rabbit
and drove pointlessly around la for a while...

[250]

2009-12-09T01:40:28Z

still feeling really sick. sneezing all the time. wtf is this?!

had too much bad food recently, too much junk food...
feel bad. physically bad that is.

came home after work and went to see inglorious basterds with A.
not bad.

on the way back we had an argument. again.
things are so freakin tense.

[249]

2009-12-09T01:38:05Z

arrived at LAX around 4:30am, tired, sleepless and sick.

i don't know if this is a cold or an allergy or whatnot, but whatever it is, it's killing me.

went home, took a shower and went to my 7am meeting.

went to work and almost fell asleep [for the first time!] at a meeting.

in the evening i took A to pink's for hotdogs!

she was thrilled! lol

we went to S's place for a bit and then took a walk at the grove, had some ice cream.

went home and finally got some sleep.

exhausted.

[248]

2009-12-09T01:36:45Z

our last day in hawaii.

walked on waikiki beach for a long long time under the sun.

finally returned to the spot we had found originally, sat down and jumped in the water.

nice warm day.

A wanted to take pictures with a 6 [!!!] giant, colorful parrots sitting on her!

that was funny, really funny!

had hawaiian burgers for lunch [yum!] and drove to the aloha tower.

it was quiet and kinda boring - except for watching the tropical fish swimming in water.

left soon to head to the airport.

we had to get gas before returning the rental car.

got lost and ended up going - accidentally- to an air force base. lolz.

turned around and headed to the airport.

but on our way there we saw a sign for pearl harbor.

we thought about it for a sec and took the turn.

i drove fast and we got there soon [even though my iphone couldn't give proper directions], to find that the site was closed.

we talked to a *very* friednly guard for a few minutes and the left.

went to HNL and boarded the flight.

i felt really sick on the plane, sneezing all the time.

damn.

[247]

2009-12-09T01:35:19Z

had a quick breakfast at the coffee bean [eating tons of sugar] and drove to hanauma bay.

that place is beautiful, it's amazing!

the weather was a bit windy and grey, but we went on the beach anyway.

i was feeling tired and my mood was very dark after the arguments of the last couple of days.

A was very happy and playful and that was a bit of a contrast.

i had decided that i wouldn't get in the water, but A was still debating.

suddenly it started raining.

a bit of a tropical storm to remind us where we're at.

we stayed under a hut for a bit and the - when the rain got lighter - we started walking uphill to go to the car.

the drive back was long and tiring. i felt sick and sleepy. A was half asleep.

we went to the hotel, took showers and went out for dinner.

had amazing sushi.

A was kinda grumpy again.

not sure why. maybe because she was hungry.

we went to duke's again for a quick drink.

i said something, she thought it was to weird, she got upset, i got mad.

same ole.

we left.

walked on the beach for a bit.

we walked by a small group of [older] hawaiians that were playing traditional hawaiian music. singing and dancing.

so much fun, looking at all these smiling elders enjoying the evening!

and yet me and A were grumpy and fighting and not making the best of such special times in our lives.

what a shame. what a waste.

after the hawaiian party was over, we tried to have a calm conversation, which quickly evolved to a fight again.

went to the hotel room and slept.

tired and sad and angry.

and this cold is killing me.

as if everything else wasn't enough...

[246]

2009-12-09T01:33:51Z

woke up in the morning and went for a healthy breakfast at starbucks.

we were planning to go to kailua beach and then lanikai beach.

bad we started the trip with a bad fight that really killed my mood.

finally went to the beach.

it was gorgeous.

decided to swim at lanikai.

while we were there we fought some more and my mood was very bad.

we tried to make up on the way back, but i was already very sad.

i have been having this cold for weeks now - since i was in Greece.

i have started to suspect that it's not really a cold.

it must be something else.

because i sneeze all the time and i have a runny nose, but i don't have any other cold symptoms.

it's weird.

and it's not helping my mood get better.

got back to the hotel room feeling exhausted.

we kinda got over the fights and went out to walk around and do some window shopping.

eventually we got hungry. went back to duke's for dinner.

wait a long time for a table is annoying...

back to the hotel room.

i feel sick, very sick.

sneezing is killing me and my mood.

[245]

2009-11-21T02:01:18Z

went to work with my bag of clothes for hawaii.
left early, went to lax.

A was waiting for me there.

flew to honolulu, picked up our car and drove to the hotel.

walked around.

A started blaming me for some silly things - like her choice of clothes.

i got upset and we had a bad fight.

i can't believe that we've come all the way out here and we're fighting.

i got very disappointed and sad.

miserable.

went to duke's for a drink.

sat on the sand at waikiki beach, stared at the pacific ocean.
beautiful.

went to get some sleep.

long day.
tiring and emotional.

[244]

2009-11-21T01:59:09Z

still feeling kinda sick.
phone meetings and lazy work.

left early, went to lax.

picked up A!

it's kinda weird and exciting that she is in la.

went home, left her suitcases and then went to lola's for dinner.

i was starving.

we were both too tired to stay out late.

plus i need to pack: we're flying to hawaii tomorrow!

[243]

2009-11-21T01:57:51Z

A left her place to go to Athens. i don't feel like working.
i'm stressed though about all the things i need to do [and i'm not doing].

A boarded her flight to frankfurt. here we go.

this is exciting!

went to do groceries and laundry.

oh, how i hate laundry.

went home and S came by [with An and D] to help me put the frames on my wall.

cleaned the house a bit and went to bed.

[242]

2009-11-21T01:54:54Z

early morning patent meeting.

felt so sick and depressed, i didn't event speak,
i didn't even say i'm there, i didn't even defend my patent.
it got rejected. naturally.

$4000 down the drain.

yes, it's that bad.

short of breath again.

weird.
maybe it's because of the forest fire. maybe not.

talked to A and made up after yesterday's fight.

finally got a haircut.

went home and finished cleaning up my place.

A is packing.
she's going to be here soon.

[241]

2009-11-21T01:52:24Z

woke up and went to work.

felt bad all day.
shortness of breath, to the point that i was getting dizzy. almost fainted.

i told A, but she didn't pay attention.

instead she was giving me a hard time. sometimes she's so insecure, it's killing me.

we had a bad fight.

got even dizzier, ready to pass out.

left work and went to get my hair cut. fail.

went to get dinner with S at lala's.
had a steak, tried to give myself something to increase the serotonin in my brain.

after dinner we walked around, then went by her place.

i stayed there for a a few minutes and the went home.

feeling exhausted.

i deserve a happier life, don't i?